I Want a New Drug

Note: To the folks at Merck or Pfizer or Ray’s Drug Emporium and Spa–whomever it is that makes Aleve–I love you. And I mean that.


Horrid case of writer’s block. Call it postseason overload. I have one chapter to finish, which revolves around the post season. Now, you have on-court excitement. You have stories surrounding the games. You have what those games mean to the specific teams. You have ODU in NY and GMU in Indy. You have people and personalities and stories. You have fans. You have an entire conference. You have a dumptruck-sized cash bonanza (which should be used to purchase Aleve).

How the fat do you organize that into the final chapter?

Here’s a toast to this blog sorting those organizational issues out, as we thrust ourselves deeply into…

March Madness
At the postseason banquet to celebrate the season (my, how THAT was premature…), JJ Barea is named conference POY. Sitting next to the Media Table, I glance to the covey of beat writers who voted on the award, every single one of which were trying to figure out the quick route to the desert table. I still need someone to explain to me how Loren Stokes didn’t win this award. But I digress…

In one of the better harbingers in a long time, the CAA tournament gets underway with a team fouls snafu in Game #1. In a move you hope deosn’t repeat itself with our government and Iran, despite three guys having the correct number of Drexel team fouls (9), the guy with his hand on the button says (10) and gives the Nanas two shots. After a timeout, a realization, and a Mount St. Flint eruption that reached only 5.2 on the Knight Scale, Brian Kersey gets it right. Bruiser remains displeased but Drexel’s season ends.

Nor’Easter, led by the conference POY JJ Barea, scores 26 points in the first 12 seconds of the second half to roll JMU. Johnny Napp writes the lyrics to his new #1 hit “My Purple and Gold Give Me the Blues.” The media misses the second half of the game as rumor hits press row that the conference has put out Gardettos snacks in the media room.

Yours truly begins his radio color commentary career by calling the VCU/Tribe game. I have no joke here. My putrid work stands on its own merit. What fans are left listening to the radio at the end of the game miss the call of the Jeff Capel/Dee Vick skirmish because, well, I wasn’t paying attention and didn’t actually comment.

A full 45 minutes before UNCWs opener the crowd begins to whip itself up. I’m amazed to see a guy painted blue and wearing a toga. He is not a student. Dave Henderson waves to the Delaware crowd. Neither of them wave back. This would be Henderson’s last game as coach.

The Dub crusies and Nor’Easter, behind you-know-who, upsets ODU. In an oddly ironic statistic, the Monarchs performance from the foul line is exactly the same as Dave Henderson’s record. Neither are back on Sunday. The beat writers miss this tidbit as they riot, knocking over soda machines to get at the goodies. It seems the oxygen line to their free Pepsi needed repair and there was nothing else to wash down the Fritos except bottled water.

Georgia State takes George Mason to overtime. Imagine where we’d all be, had the Panthers held on? On second thought, don’t.

Antoine Agudio scores 256 points in the first half against VCU. Hofstra holds off a late rally against the home team.

Semis are set with GMU/HU and Dub/NE

After I see The Dub beat Nor’Easter in roughly the same manner, I decide that the Dub could save everyone a ton of trouble and time and just mail in a final score. They win most games the same way and risk getting their stars hurt. The media is beginning to rub off on me.

Well, you know the story of the end of the GMU/HU game.

The Dub restores my faith in watching them play an actual basketball game. The Hawks win the CAA championship in a very UnDub manner: getting and blowing a big lead to Hofstra.


Okay, I had a bit too much fun with the CAA tourney…more tomorrow…


~ by mglitos on May 3, 2006.

3 Responses to “I Want a New Drug”

  1. Throw that Aleve away and get you some Advil!!! It will help my company stock.

  2. Alleve = good

    Naproxen = Alleve’s Father

    Let’s hope you don’t have to find this out firsthand.

    Love the BLOG, hope u feel better 🙂

  3. Cool site on spider man 3 trailer Check out my How Do I Enlarge My Penis

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